Watch How Charlatan David Wolfe Profits From Superfood Gibberish

If you have any scientifically illiterate people in your friends list on Facebook, there’s more than a good chance that they have shared an inspirational quote from the colossal ignoramus David Avocado Wolfe. David is a new-age Swami that deals in the snake-oil of a common charlatan but Wolfe is by any estimation a very extraordinary charlatan with a loyal following of simpletons measuring over 5 million followers.

David is into natural medicine and organic food because chemicals bad. He also knows for certain that GMOs are going to cause cancer even though there is absolutely zero evidence for this and nearly 2500 years of Genetically modified food that has been consumed without consequence. GMO sounds scary and it’s easy to demonize Monsanto -because they are evil- while trying to sell your following a bill of goods at a grossly inflated rate.

Of course David Avocados is not the only new age homeopathic yoga Swami vying for oodles of internet cash. Belle Gibson from Australia became one of the most infamous frauds in the world when she conned tens of thousands of people into believing she had cured  her “brain cancer” by eating healthy foods. What she shares with Wolf is remarkable. They both make outlandish claims about nutritional benefits of certain diets. They both make a lot of money selling desperate people things that they do not need. Both are diabolical liars but at least Belle had the temerity to face a real journalist on their Australian 60 minutes.

To truly appreciate the buffoonery of David Wolfe, one only need to turn to his actual words. Did you know that chocolate was the energy at the core of the sun? Or that the cacao is right on-line target to the center of the sun? Which is also called the sacred heart?

Did you know that mushroom spores have been found at every atmosphere on the earth? In the ionosphere and stratosphere because they can levitate off the planet by a shell of ormuz? Which is also trying to get to the center of the sun? That’s just quantum mechanics. Mushrooms rode the cosmic winds of the universe. They’re aliens.

I bet you also didn’t learn that gravity is not intrinsic to matter. That Carl Sagan mumbo jumbo was sold to us on Cosmos and was 100% Grade A bologna. Einstein’s Special Theory of Relativity was just an Illuminatti precept because there are “people” who have known that gravity is a force that can be displaced. We’re fighting gravity all the time. Wait, what?

Screen Shot 2016-05-02 at 1.03.44 AM

Gravity is not only a force that can be manipulated but it’s also a toxin, send money now. If you have a gander at his web site, you can see how important David Wolfe is.

David “Avocado” Wolfe is the rock star and Indiana Jones of the superfoods and longevity universe. The world’s top CEOs, ambassadors, celebrities, athletes, artists, and the real superheroes of this planet—Moms—all look to David for expert advice in health, beauty, herbalism, nutrition, and chocolate!
David is the celebrity spokesperson for America’s #1 selling kitchen appliance: the NUTRiBULLET™ and for www.LongevityWarehouse.com. He is the co-founder of TheBestDayEver.com online health magazine and is the visionary founder and president of the non-profit The Fruit Tree Planting Foundation charity (www.ftpf.org) with a mission to plant 18 billion fruit, nut, and medicinal trees on planet Earth.

With over 20 years of dedicated experience and having hosted over 2750 live events, David has led the environmental charge for radiant health via a positive mental attitude, eco-community building, living spring water, and the best-ever quality organic foods and herbs.

Is Wolfe picking up a whip, putting on a Fedora, and invading ancient tombs looking for new superfoods and herbs to increase your longevity? Does being the Indiana Jones of superfood mean that he’s a uber-awesome history hero here to save the world or merely a fictional character in a Steven Spielberg film? Hear it from the horse’s ass himself.

If you aren’t quite sure why deer antlers are herbs and why they are Chinese herbalist number uno best stuff, look at the cosmic waves of Ultron that inhabit them and read what Avocados says about them.

Dear antler is not a product. It’s a cosmic substance. And it’s an androgenic substance, by the way—very androgenic. And it needs to be taken with respect and understanding, which is why we’ve been getting into this whole thing about estrogenic forces and then androgenic forces. You gotta know that deer antler is an androgenic force. And why? Because it’s cosmic in nature. It’s elevating. It’s levitational in nature. Which actually makes you younger. The forces of levity make you younger. Rudolf Steiner said that we gradually age due to substances in our body that are seized by the earth’s gravity. He could have said anything. He could have said anything at all, but he said that. That’s amazing. Then he said that you want to use the force of levity to drive the force of levity into your body. Then he talks about silica, that silica can be made to be levitational again.

You can buy David’s deer antler juice for a paltry $75 for 2 ounces and regain your virility while healing mother earth with positive essences that conceal true faith that quiet opportunities for enrichment.

If you are not convinced that David is not only a charlatan worthy of nothing but mockery, please find the nearest pool of water and drown yourself because you are exactly why we cannot have nice things. Wolfe is a loon that somehow escaped his asylum and convinced a lot of homeopathic vegans to make him a multimillionaire. Hopefully Avocado will be thrown from an airplane at 30,000 feet so he can demonstrate how he can manipulate gravity and learn of its toxicity when he gets rapid concrete deceleration poisoning.

Featured Image via davidwolfe.com

About Thomas Clay 405 Articles
Thomas is a disgruntled rake-hell full of piss and vinegar about this last election that he fully intends to unleash on the Goon Commander when he brings his gang of incorrigible reprobates into the White House.

Please add us to your ad blocker's whitelist.

Here at AmericanNewsX.Com, we hate annoying ads as much as you do. But we also need to pay the bills. When you whitelist us, you'll see we keep our ads as unobtrusive as possible. Thank you for supporting our efforts in telling truth to power with a bit of snark.