Trump Cabinet Looks Like A Cast Of Horror Movie Villains

Orange Voldemort Fills Slytherin House With His Own Kind

Watching Voldemort choose his minions reminds me of my friend who died of mesothelioma having never having been exposed to asbestos. We don’t deserve this.  We don’t need horror pictures beyond nightmare of the Presidential Transition Team.  But on some level we need to pay attention to see what we’ll be dealing with.  We need to be realistic (though, as Lily Tomlin said, “Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it….”).

Presidential Transition Team

Like the blinded Samson with a new haircut, he’s busy pulling down the walls of the temple.  And I suspect the reason he keeps changing his mind is that so many of them are just saying no.  Just refusing to be a part of it.

Here’s the bullet, and it’s a real Smith & Wesson M&P load.  For more information about each of these flying monkeys, click on their names.

Donald J. Trump
(Or as J.K. Rowling calls him, “He Who Must Not Be Named.”)  We already know more than we ever wanted to know about him.  But if you’re an information junkie and enjoy torturing yourself, here’s my article on his legal troubles, “Trump Is More Likely To End Up In The Big House Than The White House.”

Vice President of the United States
Gov.  Michael Pence
White-haired “pure-blood” member of the House of Slytherin, this Draco Malfoy knock-off is so thin-skinned, he couldn’t tolerate a suggestion from Broadway’s cast of Hamilton that he represent all the people.

Department of State
Washington Post says Rudi Guiliani and Mitt Romney are top contenders.  “Transition team officials would not name the other two finalists, but other leading candidates include retired Army Gen. David Petraeus — a former commanding general of the U.S. Central Command and CIA director — and Sen. Bob Corker (R-Tenn.), chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee.”

Voldemort is considering ExxonMobil chief Rex Tillerson to be Secretary of State, according to MSNBC host Joe Scarborough.
It all reminds me of Malvina Reynolds’ old song, “There’s A Bottom Below.”  “Do you think you’ve hit bottom?  Oh, no!  There’s a bottom below.”

Department of Defense
James Mattis is Voldemort’s pick.  Retired Marine Gen. James Mattis, nicknamed “Mad Dog,” is known for his gruff and blunt quotes.  (“Be polite. Be professional. But have a plan to kill everybody you meet.”) 

Department of Justice

Jeff Sessions, confirmed.
(Saying his name makes me go stick my head in the toilet. Seriously evil. Even writing about him nauseates me.)

Department of  the Treasury:
Steven Mnuchin, confirmed.  “Steven Mnuchin, a former Goldman Sachs banker, went on to become a movie financier, helping fund some of Hollywood’s biggest hits. He has dozens of producer credits on IMDB and one acting credit (a non-speaking role as a Merrill Lynch executive in “Rules Don’t Apply”).  Oh, just great, another rules-don’t-apply guy!  After they trash Clinton for being paid to tell them to hire more women.  Lord!

Department of the Interior

Likely one of three:  Governor Mary Fallin, Alaska’s former Governor Sarah Palin and Lucas Oil co-founder Forrest Lucas.

Oklahoma Governor Fallin, Palin and Lucas are all oil-drilling advocates, as in kiss your federal lands goodbye, drilling in the Arctic, federal bullying of Standing Rock protestors.  Lucas Oil co-founder Charlotte Lucas:  “I’m sick and tired of minorities running our country! As far as I’m concerned, I don’t think that atheists (minority), muslims [sic] (minority) nor any other minority group has the right to tell the majority of the people in the United States what they can and cannot do here. Is everyone so scared that they can’t fight back for what is right or wrong with his country?”

Department of Agriculture

Sid Miller, not yet named. Miller, Texas’ No. 1 Trump supporter and advisor on agriculture.
Miller called Secretary Clinton the “c” word on Twitter.  Nothing more need be said.

Department of Commerce
Wilbur Ross, billionaire, confirmed.  Former Goldman Sachs Group Inc. partner.  And they trashed Hillary Clinton for speaking to them about hiring more women.  Double standard?  Ya think?

“My wife sometimes accuses me of trying to reinvent the 19th century. In some ways she’s right because I like things that I can understand and that aren’t too complicated.”  So maybe step aside and let someone with a 21st century brain take over?

Department of Labor
Rep. Lou Barletta, not confirmed.

“Thousands of cities in America are crying out for relief from the burden of illegal immigration. Small towns like mine can no longer wait for Washington.”

Department of Health and Human Services

Rep. Tom Price, confirmed. 

“President-elect Donald Trump has chosen Rep. Tom Price (R-Ga.), a fierce critic of the Affordable Care Act and a proponent of overhauling the nation’s entitlement programs, to lead the Department of Health and Human Services.”  One of my friends from Atlanta told me hearing his name made his skin itch.  As yourself, can you afford to support your parents?  Or yourself in your later years?  Um….

Department of Housing and Urban Development

Ben Carson being considered, not confirmed.  Seriously?  HUD isn’t brain surgery!  Because he’s Black???  I’d go on but we all know way too much about Dr. Carson already.

Department of Transportation

Elaine Chao, confirmed.  Secretary of labor under President George W. Bush from 2001 through 2009, married to Mitch McConnell.  Clear case of Stockholm Syndrome.  How else to explain a Chinese woman stuck in here with all these white male supremacists?

Department of Energy

The most bandied about is Gov. Sarah Palin“If I were head of [DOE] I’d get rid of it. I’d let the states start having more control over the lands that are within their boundaries and the people that are affected by the developments within their states.”

Department of Education
Betsy DeVos, confirmed.  A real fan of charter schools, DeVos currently serves as chairwoman of the American Federation for Children, a school choice advocacy group.  Certainly important to throw the public schools off the back of the bus and ensure that rich white kids get a “good” education.  I somehow doubt she read the public schools provision of the Northwest Ordinance of 1787 which set the basis for free fair public education for all. Of course none of these deplorables are big on law or tradition, unless of course it supports their agenda of white male wealthy supremacy, so they’ve been pushing charter schools and private schools to circumnavigate, among other things, Brown v. Board of Education.

Department of Veterans Affairs

Sen. Scott Brown and yes, I’m afraid it’s true, Gov. Sarah Palin“She’s really somebody who knows what’s happening. She’s a special person. And I think people know that and she’s got a following that’s unbelievable,” Trump said in July 2015.

Oh, Palin’s special all right.  Mayor of Wasili, population 8,849, and she claims she didn’t know it is the methamphetamine capital of Alaska, but The Atlantic certainly did.  Beggars belief that she didn’t.  But her behavior would indicate she was more than familiar with the local meth labs, in my humble opinion.

As for Sen. Scott Brown, “Rarely have elected leaders been so intent on defying the public will.”  Of course he was talking about the Democrats.

Department of Homeland Security
Rep. Michael T. McCaul, not confirmed.

Donald Trump’s interview Tuesday with Rep. Michael T. McCaul for secretary of homeland security set off alarms for illegal immigration opponents who view the congressman as weak on border security and latently pro-amnesty.

The following positions have the status of Cabinet-rank:

White House Chief of Staff

Republican National Committee chairman Reince Preibus, confirmed.

Okay, first of all, “pro life” is a code for anti-Roe-v.Wade.  Second, it is sexist on its face for Reince or any man to speak for “most women.”  Or any women.  Or anybody but themselves.  Second, this is not a fact.  It is an opinion, and a rather stupid one at that.  Third, how many abortions do you Trump has paid for? 

Stephen Bannon, the Breitbart News chairman who helped run Trump’s campaign, will serve as his chief strategist and senior counselor.  “There must be no sugarcoating the reality that a white nationalist has been named chief strategist for the Trump administration,” says The Guardian. Caution: Do not read before going to bed.)  CBS News says, “Bannon, who runs the conservative news site Breitbart, has been called racist, anti-Semitic and white nationalist — and he runs a site that has, in addition to having been unapologetically pro-Trump throughout the election, is known as a home for the so-called “alt-Right.” 

United States Mission to the United Nations

Gov. Nikki Haley  The New York Times reported, “The news of Ms. Haley’s selection came after days of criticism of Mr. Trump’s early picks as a homogeneous bloc of older, white men. If confirmed, Ms. Haley would step down as governor and be replaced by the state’s lieutenant governor, Henry McMaster, who was an early and vocal supporter of Mr. Trump.”

I wish I could find some words of comfort, some glimmer of light, some ray of hope in any of this to offer you, dear reader.  But the truth, and we must know the truth to change it, is that He Who Must Not Be Named is picking people who want to overturn every single advance we’ve made in this country in the past 60 years.  Our standing among world nations has taken a very serious hit.  The Law and the Constitution mean nothing to these people, other than as a tool to rule others, rather than as a guide to governing their own behavior.  His threats to indict Secretary Hillary Clinton are a case in point.  It is illegal both under international law and those of this country to jail political opponents.  He either doesn’t know how very wrong that is, or he simply doesn’t give a sweet rat’s ass.  We are really in for it.

Grace Harwood is otherwise known as Professor Minerva McGonagall, Hogwarts School.

About Grace Harwood 29 Articles
Grace Harwood is a writer, photographer, and abstract expressionist who lives in Oakland, California. She is the woman you wish lived down the block so you could have coffee every morning. When she was young and didn't know you could do it, she founded the world's first human rights journal, Matchbox, for Amnesty International USA. She is a feminist, a wit, and general all-around smarty-pants who does her research -- in short, a well-known pain in the ass to anyone who doesn't think or doesn't care.

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