Each week, American News X will try to keep a running tab on the dumbest things that the hypocritical liars running for the republican nomination have said. This week the Olympic Dunciad has brought frustrated candidates to full froth as they ride the river of gravy from the Kochs and drop stupid grenades on the gullible base that comprise the party of traitors.
Marco Rubio started off the week by saying, “America was founded on the slogan, ‘In God We Trust.’ Umm, no Marco. You are disqualified from holding any office now because you are too stupid for words. Now we know why we will never see you competing on the Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader show. You’re not. It’s a wonder how your brain can generate enough power to move your legs.
Hee Haw Huckabee pulled out his Christian Taliban beliefs to try and steer the country back to the dark ages when he opined that 10 year-old girls who are impregnated by being raped should have to give birth to the child. Fuckabee was never qualified to be governor but that didn’t stop the yokels in Arkansas from disgracing themselves by electing this bubonic dumbfuck. Any candidate for the presidency that mentions abortion should be automatically disqualified from office and sent to the nearest FEMA camps for education.
Next up on the Sunday morning rounds of pandering republicans, we have Bozo the Trump having a remarkable moment of clarity and honesty in Iowa when he admitted how easy it is to buy politicians. Oh sure, donors give Jeb $100 million and expect nothing in return don’t you know! Those rich people are just dripping with altruism and really want what’s best for the country and stuff.
Ben Carson appears to be a tad confused outside of an operating theater and has repeatedly inserted foot into his mouth but he had some splainin to do after it was revealed that he has used ground up babies that were aborted in one of Obama’s abortion mills to do research on colloid cysts. Of course the naked hypocrisy of this political buffoon completely escapes Dr. Ben. Where exactly did he think the fetal tissue came from Dr. Carson? Elephants?
Then to ensure that he could medal in the fopdoodlery race, Dr. Carson proved how complete daft he is to reality and why we have a progressive tax system which he doesn’t like nor comprehend. So of course republicans want to sock it to the poor with their flat tax nonsense by increasing the tax burden on the poor and decreasing it for the rich. Carson found no refuge on Bullshit Mountain when Chris Wallace confronted him with those pesky things called facts and showed what a complete ass Dr. Ben is.
Then it was over to Greet the Republicans with Suck Todd to pander to the 500 people that have the stomach to watch that disgrace to television history. Never one to ask a ‘gotcha’ question, Suck Todd prefers to fellate his republican guests with starry-eyed whiffle-ball questions that they can knock right out of the park by gum. Dr. Carson again, proves his fledgling pandering career will not survive to the Carolinas because he isn’t sure whether the bible usurps the authority of the Constitution. Well in Republicanstan it certainly does!
Does the bible have authority over the Constitution? Well Ben, it is a very easy question to answer. HELL NO!