“Last I checked, we don’t have a rubber shortage in America. Like look, when I was in college, we had a machine in the bathroom. You put 50 cents in – and voila!” – Senator Ted Cruz
Woodside, New York. December 1, 2015— December is finally here and as I sit down to write this there are only 23 days 10 hours 43 minutes and 24 seconds until Christmas. As I crawled out of bed this morning scouring the house for coffee and listening to Warren Zevon, Ted Cruz was hard at work on the Campaign Trail. In case you have been living under a rock or in my hometown, Crosssville, Tenn., Cruz is running for President of the United States of America as a Republican, the one political party in the United States that roots for Scrooge every Christmas during readings of Dickens’ A Christmas Carol and are actively lobbying to get each member’s picture on any large denomination dollar bill as a memento to their friends.
By the time I realized there was no coffee in my apartment, Warren had stopped the tale of Roland the Thompson Gunner and seemingly from out of nowhere came that tin whistle voice of Ted’s over the speakers with a very important message to the listeners:
“Now listen, here’s the simple and undeniable fact. The overwhelming majority of violent criminals are Democrats.”
This was in response to Hugh Hewitt‘s claim that he has never once met a violent, bloodthirsty Pro-Lifer, to which Ted agreed. This, of course, less than a week after a Pro-Lifer’s domestic terrorist attack on Planned Parenthood. Though, it is usually Rand Paul’s job of doing half-assed research, Ted went for the majestic swan dive into the pile of bullshit that had been ceremoniously presented to him by Hewitt and agreed. Leave it to GOP to cherry-pick recent history and overlook cases of violence done in the name of the Anti-Abortionist agenda. It didn’t take me long to recall a few names of “Pro-Lifers” with a violent, even murderous past:
- Paul Hill
- Michael Griffin
- Eric Rudolph
Readers might remember Eric Rudolph as the Anti-American Christian (not to be confused with the Hitler-obsessed Joshua Feuerstein) who famously said, “Because I believe abortion is murder, I also believe that force is justified in an attempt to stop it.” Granted, neither Hewitt nor Cruz have had a chance to meet any of these people, but that’s not what their listeners are going to hear. No. Instead what they will hear is that Pro-Lifers are peaceful creatures with no desire to do anyone any harm in any way, shape or form.
Since 1973, the year the SCOTUS proclaimed that abortion was legal throughout the Great Land that is the U.S.A., there have been more than 300 violent attacks on abortion clinics and providers. These violent attacks include arson, bombings, murders and butyric acid attacks. One look at pictures of victims of acid attacks and you can make a pretty sound judgment that people who do this are not into peace-loving, hippy-dippy activities that Cruz would like you to believe that people of the Pro-Life Persuasion are all about. Not to paint them all with a broad-brush but we cannot accept that there aren’t a handful of Wolves in Sheeps’ Clothing with the Pro-Life movement.
Maybe Hewitt and Cruz can go visit Robert Dear in jail and finally meet one of these vicious animals.
So, anyway…. Where does Ted go from there? Well, how about a lighter note, Ted? Oh, Dems are demonizing the GOP as the “Condom Police“?… Shit, never mind…. Not enough coffee in the World to cover all of this today…