Sick Of Anti-Abortion Laws? Legislate Erections!

The Problem: Pro-Life Men writing Anti-Women Laws.

As the 2016 elections heat up, you can bet your ass the anti-abortion crusaders will start thumping their chests with a whole slew of draconian ways to further rob American women of their Constitutional right to privacy and choice.  Seeing as Conservative men are predominantly the ones writing these asinine laws (like requiring trans-vaginal ultrasounds), isn’t it time we stick it right back in to them?

But how, you ask?  By making the same airtight medical arguments they use.

The Solution: Use the Back Door to Erections

Enact laws mandating rectal exams for all men seeking pills for Erectile Dysfunction. How? Read on, friends.

As men age, their testosterone levels can drop.  According to the Mayo Clinic, this can be as high as 1% per year at age 30, and by age 70, many men can have only half the testosterone their body needs.  Up to 20% of men over 60 can have levels low enough to require medical treatment!  What can this cause?

  • Sexual changed like erectile dysfunction, loss of sexual desire, or infertility.
  • Sleep problems like insomnia or constant sleepiness
  • Body changes including weight gain (i.e. your gut!), loss of muscle, reduced endurance, loss of body hair, and swollen or tender breasts.  Yes guys, breasts!
  • Emotional changes like depression, lack of self-confidence, and memory or concentration.

Low testosterone (also called “androgen deficiency,” “Low T,” or “andropause”) literally robs you of your manhood.  What is worse, many studies show a relationship that overly-low or high testosterone increases the risk of prostate cancer, and possibly its severity (i.e. how quickly it grows, spreads through your body, and kills you).   In other words, “male menopause” doesn’t just kill your mojo, it can kill you.

The nation is so focused on issues of women’s health, that it is ignoring the importance and urgency of men’s issues like Low-T and prostate cancer.  We must legislate mandatory prostate exams in all men seeking treatment for symptoms of low testosterone, including all those listed above.  Consider this website, that only lists a host of blood tests needed to diagnose Low T.  Or this one, that gives a host of problems for men to rule out as the cause of symptoms, but does not recommend that men ask to include a prostate exam.   We imagine that too often, men have the following conversations with their doctor about erectile dysfunction:

MAN: “I can’t get it up anymore.  Can I have Cialis?”
Doctor: “Certainly, but I need to run a few tests to make sure it is safe for you.”
MAN: “Sure, as long as it isn’t a rectal exam.”
Doctor: “Well these are important for your general health but not really necessary for ED medications like Cialis.”
MAN: “Phew.  Then skip it doc!”

By legally requiring that all doctors and healthcare professionals give men a full rectal prostate exam when treating not only issues of erectile dysfunction, but all symptoms that point towards low or high testosterone, we can ensure that men receive the critical, preventative care they need.

Prostate cancer accounts for 10% of the cancer deaths among men in this country. That number is too high!  If manual (also known as digital) prostate exams can save even a fraction of those lives, and if men with abnormal testosterone are more likely to die from prostate cancer, then such tests must be mandatory to ensure we aren’t killing the patient through an incomplete cure.

That is why we need to put men in the crosshairs of medical preventative care.  Early diagnosis saves money and lives.  Can we afford to ignore our men any longer?

What can you do to help?

Tell your lawmakers that you want to make fair play a reality. Share this article. You’d be surprised how many are itching to make these misogynistic anti-abortion Conservatives assume the position.



Image credits: Jumantono Prostate Cancer Treatment, Paul Dalgarno, Getty Images.

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