Vice President Mike Pence has a new website for his 2020 campaign, but if you look close you’ll see there’s something wrong. Very, very wrong.
For starters, the campaign slogan reads, “See you tomorrow, for tomorrow is now today.” That’s some rather bizarre and incompetent verbiage even for someone from this administration. Oh, and the would-be POTUS #46’s logo also has Jesus Christ as his running mate, though that’s not actually so far-fetched. Here’s a screen grab from the front page so you can see for yourself.
Oh, and there’s the text on the top of the page that chirpily query, “Are you a homosexual? If yes, click here.” When you follow the link, it takes you straight to Hell.Com, complete with links to Buddhism, Catholic Religion, Interfaith, Islamic Books, and another Hell.
Other links include “What I Ate Today,” and “Mike’s Story.” There, the page explains Mike Pence was briefly a Democrat while in high school because of the”magnetic, almost sexual pull a charismatic figure such as Jimmy Carter had on teenagers of the 70s.” But thanks to joining a fraternity in college and becoming born again, he set himself on the right path. Oh, and he points out his grandparents are immigrants, but from Ireland, a non-Muslim-majority country.
Oh, and don’t forget to stop by the online shop to pick up some great deals on some tighty-whities, men’s lounging slippers, and a bright yellow “non-aborted baby onboard” sign for your car.
The GOP has become so insane all of the above may not convince you the site is fake. But if you scroll down to the footer, there’s a “reminder to kill all your tiny dogs.” You’ll then be invited to “Sign up to receive email notifications regarding best ways to do so, including strangling, drowning, and others,” and there’s even a red button you can click that declares, “I’m In.”
That’s when you know for sure Mike Pence is being trolled. Even Trump-era Republicans don’t encourage voters to murder all their tiny dogs. They’d rather humans and animals to die slowly through starvation, lack of proper healthcare, pre-existing lady conditions, and financial stress. If a living creature has to die suddenly, they’d prefer the cause to be apoplexy caused by Kellyanne Conway’s latest lie or seeing Sean Hannity’s punchable face one time too many.
But as hilarious as this spoof website is, the White House has been so chaotic the idea of a Mike Pence presidential run in 2020 isn’t so implausible. Although he vehemently denies the flurry of rumors, The New York Times reports the Veep has been busy as a beaver building what the Times refers to as “his own power base.” He’s also set up his own PAC, the Great America Committee.
Never mind that Donald Trump’s approval ratings have sunk into a new and even deeper abyss, with 32 percent in the latest IBD/TIPP poll. Never mind that POLITICO reports a stunning 80 percent of registered voters disapprove of the Republican Party’s handling of healthcare, including 60 percent of Republicans in last week’s Quinnipiac University poll. Mike Pence won’t worry about these obstacles. He’ll just scrunch up his face and scowl at them furiously until they go away.
For a highly unpopular governor — whose constituents seemed happy to get rid of him, when Trump tapped him for V.P., according to CNN — Mike Pence’s ambitions have become rather lofty. Meanwhile, other Republicans are quietly preparing to primary Donald Trump in 2020, while John Kasich isn’t even bothering to be quiet about it.
But wait. Some are saying Mike isn’t preparing for 2020. He’s getting ready for taking over the White House in 2017.
Scott Dworkin, co-founder of the Democratic Coalition, frequent CNN guest, and longtime operative for the Democratic Party floated this theory on Twitter, with a link to an op ed piece in The New York Times that flatly declares, “Sorry Mike Pence, You’re Doomed.”
— Scott Dworkin (@funder) August 7, 2017
If the above rumor has any truth to it, the GOP’s president’s days are numbered.
Featured image | Composite: Photo of Mike Pence CC BY-SA 2.0 Gage Skidmore via Flickr; Photo of Henrik Olrik’s “Sermon on the Mount” Public Domain by Ib Rasmussin via Wikimedia Commons); Photo of sky Public Domain via Pexels.