MEMO FROM THE (INTER)NATIONAL AFFAIRS DESK
DATE: MARCH 1, 2016
FROM: DR. KURT G. DOONESBURY
SUBJECT: #MAKEDONALDDRUMPFAGAIN: WHEN GERMANS STARTED SOUNDING AS DUMB AS AMERICANS… DEATH THREATS AND MAKING GERMANY WORSE AGAIN…
DRESDEN, SAXONY. MARCH 1, 2k16— It’s been a big week for the Donald. He not only won the primary in Nevada, but he also won the support of the KKK and David Duke and got the coveted John Oliver hashtag treatment: #MakeDonaldDrumpfAgain. But, that being said, it turns out that Donald Trump isn’t only bad for America but for Germany and even the rest of the World as well.
While doing research on my last piece on PEGIDA (a.k.a., Racist Assholes), I came across photos of the UK PEGIDA outfit sporting signs stating “Trump Is Right” and other such nonsense. Trump really does have a brand that sells…. Unfortunately, those buying the brand aren’t the best and brightest. I decided to leave that bit out of my last piece because that wasn’t the focus of it. I wanted to discuss the depravity of terrorizing women and children fleeing a war-torn area and not Donald Trump. And that’s what I did. But, even with the piece finished, I couldn’t get the nonsense of PEGIDA out of my head. It was worse than the time I binge-watched an entire season of Breaking Bad in a single day. I started searching out pages on Facebook to see what kind of garbage and dirt PEGIDA’s supporters were spewing online. And that’s when I stumbled upon this gem:
Nazi?! Insult or compliment? That’s the question. The term “Nazi” was once considered in common speech to be an insult or to describe Hitler devotees. But in the year 2014, the term “Nazi” is a compliment because a Nazi is deemed to be someone who shows bravery against the BRD ( Federal Republic of Germany), shows bravery and strength against the media and foreign infiltration. Nazis are feared on the streets because they are considered stelllar streetfighters and Cold-blooded and Determinded people. But what is a Nazi? A Nazi is a person who has no desire for a BRD Ltd and is proud of their heritage. Nazis are people who say no to multiculture mixing and no to defilers of children. Today’s Nazis have little to do with racism and fascism. Just the opposite. Today’s Nazis are considered tolerant and Peaceful towards the free peoples. If each country ruled with National Socialism, then there woold be hardly any Worries. No one has anything against foreigners who live in their own country as long as they are peaceful. If someone yells Nazi at me, I scream ” I’m a proud Nazi” back.*
* spelling and capitalization errors included in the translation… because it’s funnier that way.
Ye gods, if it weren’t for 20% Trump supporters saying they disapproved of Lincoln freeing the slaves, that might have been the most loathsome thing I heard all week. Then my piece was published. I was pretty happy with it, so I shared it to my blog’s page… Hey, it’s a bit vain, but that’s how you get the word out. And normally I expect a few cretins to make their way to the page and leave a few snide remarks and attempts at being witty. Maybe a few you-liberal-pussy‘s here and there to really stir things up…. But, for this one, they really came out of the woodwork. Ho ho, I can usually take a few crude remarks in good stride, but some of these were so vulgar that I deleted them without even thinking. I mean, sweet Jesus, my mom reads these things, people! The Internet… what a truly despicable and treacherous place. Please enjoy a selection of some of the cleaner death threats and normal threats and comments I received:
C’est la vie, friends. C’est la vie.
But one person kept coming back and leaving little bigoted pearls of wisdom for us. One of these little pearls was that we have come almost full-circle. And if there is any Truth to Yoshi Mitsu’s Gospel of the News From Germany, we have landed on the steps of the Fourth Reich and the election of another Supreme Asshole with a tiny schlong. Might he be speaking of Donald J. Trump? It is likely, but the jury is still out on this one. It might be as likely that the new Reich will come about through the AfD (or Alternative für Deutschland [Alternative for Germany]). The AfD is what you would call NPD-lite. And that’s not saying a whole lot since the NPD is basically the party for those who couldn’t find a racist enough party after the ban of the Nazi Party. Hate gays, immigrants, moderate and progressive bullshit, and think refugees are going to just rape and murder their way through your country but don’t want people think you are a full-blown Nazi? Join the AfD! Or if you are an American who supports Trump but are finding yourself in Germany without any friends? Why not call the AfD?! Though, if Yoshi is right, I hate to break it to him… but it doesn’t end well for the German people. And it also isn’t a Happy Ending for the rest of the World either.
But, I still find it odd that PEGIDA was founded in a city that was almost completely decimated and strives to make life hell for those coming from a country that has almost been completely decimated itself. If you look at the photos below, there isn’t much difference between the two bombed out places. You would almost assume that these people would have some sort of Mitleid or compassion for these refugees. But, you know what they say about those who assume…
I digress… Maybe we should let the Germans know that we already got one Donald Trump and that we definitely don’t need their help to #MakeDonaldDrumpfAgain. We’re good on that front by ourselves. But, while you’re here, why not check out some Germans giving it the good ol’ college try to #MakeDonaldDrumpfAgain: