LOL: Donald Trump Accidentally Bans Himself From America

NEW YORK: Goodyear Satire Co.–Donald Trump’s latest proposal to stop immigration from “any nation that has been compromised by terrorism” means the Presidential candidate himself would be banned from America.  The United States is a country with a long and difficult history of terrorist acts.

“I’m talking territory instead of Muslim,” Trump said on Sunday’s “Meet the Press.” Trump expanded his ban from Muslims-Only to include Christians, Jews, and a certain Protestant who happens to live in Trump Tower.

Donald Trump

Active terrorist groups in America are anti-abortion, neo-Nazi and anti-government organizations such as today’s Republican Party. Recent incidents of domestic terrorism include the Charleston church shootings, the Wisconsin Sikh temple massacre, and Rudy Giuliani’s speech at the Trump Nominating Convention.

Rudy Giuliani eating a microphone at the 2016 RNC

Trump has often advocated the use of violence to achieve political ends, the definition of terrorism.  He has called for attacks on protesters exercising their rights of free speech and for “second amendment solutions” against his political opponents. He fears they would “take away your guns” before you could use them against his opponents.

If Trump wins in November, he will be deported as soon as he takes the oath of office. He will not be allowed to return until a Democrat is elected to the presidency and birds sing again.

Asked to comment, Trump said, “My ban is a beautiful ban, a great ban, and if it keeps out people like me, then it’s doing its job.”


Photo Credit: Rudy Giuliani and Donald Trump screen grabs from

Cover Photo By Gage Skidmore from Peoria, AZ, United States of America (Donald Trump) CC BY-SA 2.0 , via Wikimedia Commons

About Marty Rudoy 54 Articles
Marty Rudoy has written for tv shows, major comedians and a former President (Bush I). He's a former stand-up comic working out of the IMPROV in New York and is now published by AmericanNewsX, The Huffington Post and an east coast satire site, What Exit NJ. Marty doesn't know why he's writing this in the third person but he thanks you for reading. Oh, and he's also a lawyer who frequently writes on legal and criminal justice issues.

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