The Disastrous Trump Campaign: ‘The Art of the Ordeal’

LOS ANGELES (Goodyear Satire Company)—

“Not another Trump town hall!” a million souls cry in vain — but the sideshow goes on.

Donald Trump wants to be President, so why should we suffer?

This is The Art of The Ordeal.  It’s the angry, drawn out way Donald Trump is negotiating to be the next American President.

Read his book. Its all there. Define and destroy your opposition. Be unpredictable. Keep everybody guessing. Be the last man standing. Win. That’s The Art of the Deal. But putting millions of Americans through this years-long battle while still appealing to a majority of them, that’s the Art of the Ordeal.

But as bad as it it for the voters, the Trump Campaign is simply disastrous to the Republican party as it now stands.

Trump is turning the 2016 campaign into one of those Republican Death Panels but the one most likely to die is the Republican Party.

Trump’s campaign has mowed down 15 of their brightest lights and dimmest bulbs, from Bobby Jindal and Jeb Bush to Scott Walker and Marco Rubio. Party stalwart John McCain isn’t even going to the Republican National Convention. He’s the guy who chose to stay with the Vietcong, but standing by Trump? Not so much.

Trump’s remaining credible opponent is the odious Ted Cruz, whose likability factor hovers between Zika-carrying mosquitoes and infanticide.

From a policy standpoint, Trump has destroyed the GOP brand as well. He’s challenged so many tenets of modern conservatism that its impossible to not believe he’s a democrat in wolves’ clothing. He’s no sheep.

Eight million GOP primary voters have now voted for someone who (a) donated to Planned Parenthood, (b) contributed to Hillary Clinton, (c) hires foreign workers, (d) says he’s going to tax the rich, and (e) thinks transgender people should choose their own bathrooms.

He’s most recently said of the new President, “I don’t care if it’s a Republican or Democrat, I couldn’t care less.” He, of course, means himself. That’s the final knife in the Republican brand. It elevates Trump the candidate and marginalizes any importance to the Republican label.

Trump knows he can do or say anything and his voters will stand by him.

Who knew that destroying the GOP would be this easy?

Trump’s endgame is either getting the nomination and remaking it into a Trumpublican Party, or bolting the GOP, taking with him the credibility of by-then 12 million primary votes and the “fairness” factor in losing to a party-boss-selected, johnny-come-lately who didn’t bother facing the primary voters. In his mind, a win-win. Either way, the Republican Party will be a hollowed-out mess.

Trump 2016! ( I added Jeb’s ! to make it seem more exciting than it is.) But if it brings about a more reasonable Republican Party, one that can work with President Hillary Clinton or President Bernie Sanders, then this ordeal will have been worth it.


Featured image via media library

About Marty Rudoy 54 Articles
Marty Rudoy has written for tv shows, major comedians and a former President (Bush I). He's a former stand-up comic working out of the IMPROV in New York and is now published by AmericanNewsX, The Huffington Post and an east coast satire site, What Exit NJ. Marty doesn't know why he's writing this in the third person but he thanks you for reading. Oh, and he's also a lawyer who frequently writes on legal and criminal justice issues.

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