Send Snacks! Judge Roy Takes State of Alabama As Last US Refuge For Bigotry

Judge Roy claims the whole state as last refuge of bigotry! (Send snacks)

Possibly taking a cue from a lawless militia group who took a fancy to the Malheur Wildlife Refuge in Oregon, and decided to call the whole place home, sweet home, Judge Roy Moore, of Alabama renown, decided to follow suit January 6, 2016. Kim Davis, the fiery upstart county clerk, was likely to have been an inspiration for this latest spectacle, as well as “segregation now, segregation tomorrow, segregation forever” former Governor George Wallace.

Claiming the entire state of Alabama a Refuge for Bible-based bigotry, he declared that the Supreme Court was not so supreme, though previously he had seemingly valued their opinion. As recently as March of last year, Old Roy had declared that his state’s standoff with same-sex marriage had credibility derived from SCOTUS, but not so much anymore. Today is a new and wildly free day. In fact, to clarify the confusion on the matter, Roy found it a lot more advantageous to just set up camp as top authority on the entire state grounds. To hell with the Supremes and those pesky LGBT Alabamians still calling the state “Sweet Home.”

Never mind that we all know this is just another spectacle, meant more as the final bleating call of a rare and majestic dying species of Southern defiance and unparalleled buffoonery. The call that is becoming increasingly muted and dispersed, even in the backwoods of the South.   Never mind that the progressive thinkers residing in the state gasp in horror as they watch Roy continue to paint the state with that same broad and crude paint stroke that attempts to equate a rebel flag with some sort of noble enlightened heritage. For now we are going to pretend that this is all going to work out in favor of Roy, a besieged Oregon bird sanctuary, a country clerk who doesn’t have to do her job because Jesus, the Tea Party, or for Ted Cruz, Mike Huckabee, Jeb!, Marco Rubio, or Rick Santorum’s Presidential dreams of Theocratic grandeur.

And along the same lines of thinking as a militia taking over an isolated and unpopulated out-camp in Oregon, without apparent forethought; please send snacks. But nothing too sugary because it get’s Roy even more agitated than usual. Son Caleb E. Moore asked for more “boats and hoes” if you could spare them among a few other items we won’t mention. It seems the items on the wish list just might grow a bit extensive! It is a whole state after all, but hey, we all know states like Alabama are the most dependent on handouts anyway. Things might just work out for Old Roy after all. One can dream of sharing the wonder of a wild and free refuge for the ultra-conservative Bible thumpers, unfettered by the constraints of a world in which diversity exists…where the call of the bigot can still be heard and admired by a dogged, tenacious, and paltry few. Roy has a dream.

About Matthew Silvan 283 Articles
Matthew Silvan is a gay man from the American South who has spent years fighting against the scapegoating and demonization imposed on the LGBT community by Republicans and religious hypocrites and zealots. His writing reflects the constant struggle to overcome the inequality and discrimination still rampant in America. He is an advocate for diversity and progress, with a passion for nature and preserving the environment, who also tends to approach things in a lighthearted way despite it all.

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