Duck Dynasty Stump Discovers Evidence Of Jesus And He’s Voting For Trump

The list of Nobel Laureates and Rhode’s Scholars that are going to vote for Trump is growing by the day. This is the reality that a lot of uppity liberals ignore when they see college graduate and likely MENSA candidate¬†Phil Robertson who has recently discovered empirical and verifiable evidence of Jesus Christ’s existence and it’s a real humdinger, the calendar.

Did you know that Julius Caesar was in point of actual fact, Jesus Christ in another form? Well if you live in the democratic republic of Republicanistan and studied your dab gum bible like Phil then you would know that! How do we know this verifiable fact? Just look at the name you libturd! Julius Caesar AND Jesus Christ! JC and JC. It’s not hard to figure out and the pattern is there like a flock of ducks that you can follow @PotatoLogicFailsEveryTime.

Now if you’d just forget all that liberal clap-trap book learning for a minute you might learns something!

Jesus Christ was in fact Julius Caesar who oversaw the creation of a new calendar system in 46 B.C.E. based on ancient Greek, Babylonian, Egyptian, and Sumerian systems of measuring the passage of times following solar and lunar cycles. That’s just science, Amen!

You can totes get on the Jesus-love train and vote for Trump because that’s who God chose as his candidate. (The last time when he picked Mitt Romney he was just funning us but this time he’s serious!)


Duck Dynasty Dude Hilariously Proves Beyond a… by

Phil is all about putting God in charge and letting Jesus take the wheel like Bobby Jindal done did when he was Governor. You just have to kind of ignore that whole supply-side economic mumbo jumbo and forget the fact that in Phil’s home state of Louisiana, is in the worst economic state it has been in in modern history. It turns out as LA, KS, MS and WI had all these well-tested Republican economic theorists were in point of actual fact, economic disasters.

Whereas California went from almost $40 billion debt under Republican Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger is now suffering with a $14 billion surplus under Jerry Brown. If only those liberal policies could work in other states infested with Republicans then perhaps the Welfare Queen Red-States would start pulling their own weight so they wouldn’t have to rely on the Blue states to pay for all their failures?

Featured Image via screen grab.

About Thomas Clay 417 Articles

Thomas is a disgruntled rake-hell full of piss and vinegar about this last election that he fully intends to unleash on the Goon Commander when he brings his gang of incorrigible reprobates into the White House.

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