Fittingly, this story is set in the greatest hillbilly and Tea Party breeding ground which America currently has to offer — Jeb Bush’s very own, great State of Florida. The narrative of this story is so surreal and bordering on ridiculous that it almost reminds me of a Quentin Tarantino film, so much so that when imagining this chain of events I kept picturing Woody Harrelson and Juliet Lewis (who played Micky and Mallory in Tarantino’s film – Natural Born Killers) instead of the local yokels who are a far cry from the aforementioned thespians.
The following is a detailed accounting of the drama show these two idiots starred in earlier this week as reported by First Coast News: Jacksonville police showed up at the couple’s mobile home at approximately 9:30 pm this past Wednesday looking for Ryan Patrick Bautista, 34, who was allegedly wanted on several warrants including Armed Burglary.
Upon arriving on the scene police knocked at the front door at which point the front light was abruptly shut off, police tried to contact whoever was inside for the next several hours to no avail. Bautista was apparently hiding out in the trailer with his girlfriend Leanne Hunn, 30 who told police:
she would come out but wanted to have sex with Bautista one last time.”
But that’s not even the worst part of this whole scenario. The couple was also allegedly harboring a shooting suspect inside their glorified, overgrown tin can on wheels.
Plus the pair allegedly held two innocent women against their will until one woman began to cry hysterically according to local police.
I would hope that the lustful
love jail birds were more than able to fulfill their carnal desires several times over, given the seven long hours that this ridiculous standoff lasted – finally ending after Swat arrived somewhere around 4:00 am. The couple has since been arrested and the pair are facing charges for: resisting arrest without violence and false imprisonment.”